Jokes

[Danielle Angel]

Place your jokes here.

After reading this I just had to start a joke thread >> read on hehehehe >>>

The next time someone asks you a dumb question wouldn't you like to respond like this?
Yesterday I was at my local Wal-mart store buying a large bag of Purina for my loyal dog and was in the checkout line when the woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think, I had an elephant? So, since on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with dog food kibble and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask people in the checkout line at Wal-mart or be ready for an impulsive answer.

:D :D :D :D :D :D

[Degen]

<not a joke>Some old people eat dog and cat food because they are poor</not a joke>

[Danielle Angel]

<not a joke>Some old people eat dog and cat food because they are poor</not a joke>

Yes I have heard this, both elderly, homeless and disabled. It is very sad :(. I wish it was a joke and not reality :(.

[Sarauw]

I have never eaten animal feed, but do not think it is as bad as you think actually there is really high standards for how animal feed should be. whatever I think is more pity that there are people there care more what their pets eat than what they put in there own mouth.

[Danielle Angel]

OK this is not a joke but a commercial I found hilarious. It is a strip poker commercial. Search for it on the net if the link doesnt work after this edit.

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=WNsBc7PBw5E

[Sarauw]

lol that it's to funny I had not seen that comming

[Slinky]

http://img127.imageshack.us/img127/2594/capturedi1.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

http://i300.photobucket.com/albums/nn24/slinkz1978/smiley-lol.gif

[Danielle Angel]

OMG hehehehehe LMAO !!!!!

[Degen]

LOL i guess they send the bill to your next of kin

[pip_sta]

Who thinks they were just dumb? or were they making a joke? :p

[Danielle Angel]

Hi Pip !!!!!!!! Good to see you here :D I think they are just plain dumb lol. Otherwise its computer altered hehe

[Danielle Angel]

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the
stranger turned to her and said, 'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go
quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.'

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to
the stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?'

'Oh, I don't know,' said the stranger. 'How about nuclear power?' and he
smiles.

'OK, ' she said. 'That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a
question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass -
Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and
a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?'

The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks
about it and say s, 'Hmmm, I have no idea.'

To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss
nuclear power when you don't know $ h i t?

:D :D

[Slinky]

Hehe nice one Danielle.. :D

Watch this .. deserved!! :D

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=fJeWvWAVqLw

[Danielle Angel]

Haha, yeah I got sent that in an email .... CLASSIC !!!!!!!! I suggest everyone listen to the very end, you will almost cry yourself to death with laughter. :D :D :D

[K1-DK]

<not a joke>Some old people eat dog and cat food because they are poor</not a joke>

There are several stories around about old/sick/homeless people eating dog food, but none is confirmed as far as i know.

And if you look at prices you have to pay for dog food and compare it to canned tuna, pasta, oatmeal and other stuff in that pricerange, there really isnt any reason to eat dog food.

So hopefully it is just stories that are made up.

[PokerFishing]

I have a joke called "Aint no fun getting old". I will copy it down. It is pretty funny. I hope it is within the site rules though. It really isnt too bad or rude.

4 old mischievous Grandmas were sitting at a table in a nursing home. An old Grandpa walked in. One of the old Grandma's yelled out saying, 'We bet we can tell exactly how old you are.'
The old man said, 'There ain't no way you can guess it, you old fools.'
One of the old Grandmas said,
'Sure we can! Just drop your pants & under shorts & we can tell your exact age.'

Embarrassed just a little, but anxious to prove they couldn't do it, he dropped his drawers.The Grandmas asked him to first turn around a couple of times & to jump up & down several times. Then they all piped up & said, 'You're 87 years old!'

Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old gent asked, 'How in the world did you guess?'

Slapping their knees & grinning from ear to ear,

all 4 old ladies happily yelled in unison--

'We were at your birthday party yesterday!!!!!!!!!'

[Slinky]

A farmer gets a phone call from his son, "i've run over a pig and its stuck under the tractor,still alive!!"
"Shoot it" says the farmer,and then bury him."
About 20 minutes later he gets another phone call....
"Done that, What should i do with his speed camera?"

[Danielle Angel]

lmao, is that where my brother got to :D

[Slinky]

man gets home from work and tells his wife "get me a beer before it starts"
he drinks the beer then says "quick get me another beer before it starts"
again she gets it and he drinks it, he says.."quick grab me another one before it start"
she again gets up and goes to fetch him his beer
ten minutes later he says"get me another beer its about to start"
his wife stands up and shouts " LISTEN YOU YA FAT BASTARD what do u think it is..eh,your birthday"
he rolls his eyes and says " feck me its started"
:D

[pip_sta]

ok...so I'm the least funny person ever....i don't even remember any jokes....so I'm gonna tell you something about me I think is funny - I have a fear of fences, init!!
Like as a teenager all my friends were boys, and I thought I was really atheletic just coz they were...
It was jazz night at this local park....and me, the boy I had a crush on, his brother and our other friend were hangging out on 'the rocks'....I wanted a drink, but was already on another level and had left my purse in a plastic bag which i had thown away into a rubbish bin....ai ai ai....so like an idiot instead of going the long but safe way....i decided to jump a fence that was almost as tall as me (which isn't very tall :p)...but well.....to cut a long story short....i ended up sitting on one of the spikes on the fence....yep....I had a third hole for while....as my friends put it every time they'd see me.
That was traumatising enough for me.....I had been hagging off my shorts off tall gates before...but that taught me to stop being a lil vandal....:p

[Danielle Angel]

lmfaoooo :D

[Danielle Angel]

WIFE:
What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?

HUSBAND:

Definitely not!

WIFE:

Why not - don't you like being married?

HUSBAND:

Of course I do.

WIFE:

Then why wouldn't you remarry?

HUSBAND:

Okay, I'd get married again.

WIFE:

You would? (With a hurtful look on her face).

HUSBAND:

(Makes audible groan).

WIFE:

Would you live in our house?

HUSBAND:

Sure, it's a great house.

WIFE:

Would you sleep with her in our bed?

HUSBAND:

Where else would we sleep?

WIFE:

Would you let her drive my car?

HUSBAND:

Probably, it is almost new.

WIFE:

Would you replace my pictures with hers?

HUSBAND:

That would seem like the proper thing to do.

WIFE:

Would she use my golf clubs?

HUSBAND:

No, she's left-handed.

WIFE:
- silence - -

HUSBAND:

F - - K !! :D lmao

[pip_sta]

:DLike it! Like it loads - you're a joker with that one :p

[Danielle Angel]

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'

'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.

I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'For reading a book?' she replies.

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her again.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'

'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.

I'll have to take you in and write you up.'


'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with Sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the game warden.


'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.'


'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

:D

[pip_sta]

:p lol oh well!!!

[barbarella41]

:D

[Slinky]

Have You Ever Wondered Why...

1. Why the sun lightens our hair but darkens our skin?
2. Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
3. Why you never see the headline: "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
4. Why "abbreviation" is such a long word?
5. Why Doctors call what they do a "Practice"?
6. Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Microsoft Windows?
7. Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavour, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
8. Why the man who invests all your money is called a "Broker"?
9. Why there isn't mouse flavoured cat food?
10. Who tastes dog food when it has a "New & Improved" flavour?
11. Why Noah didn't swat those two darned mosquitoes?
12. Why they use a sterilized needle for lethal injections?
13. Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
14. Why they are called apartments, when they are all stuck together?
15. Why they call an airport a "Terminal" if flying is so safe?

And in case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

1. On a popular hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping".
(Darn it, that's the only time I have to dry my hair)
2. On a bag of Crisps: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(A shoplifter's special)
3. On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap".
(And that would be how?)
4. On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost".
(But, it's just a suggestion)
5. On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down".
(Well...duh, a bit late now)
6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating".
(And you thought?)
7. On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body".
(But, wouldn't this save me more time?)
8. On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication".
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents, if we could get those 5 year olds with head colds to stop driving those dumper trucks)
9. On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness".
(And...I'm taking this because?)
10. On some brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only".
(As opposed to...what?)
11. On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use".
(Now, somebody help me out on this one!)
12. On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts".
(Talk about a news flash!)
13. On an Airline's packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts".
(Who'd have thought it?)
14. On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".
(I blame the parents for this one)
15. On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".
(Was there a lot of this happening then?)

[barbarella41]

This is golden, slinky ! :D

[Danielle Angel]

On my zippo lighter fluid I noticed the same stupid type of warning hehe "caution highly flammable" :rolleyes:,.... Seriously WFT is this world coming to ?????? :D :D

What a crack up this post of your is slinky, the world is truely full of morons.

[K1-DK]

What a crack up this post of your is slinky, the world is truely full of morons.

Thats why we all play poker... to meet those morons....
:)

[barbarella41]

I´m a big Henry Rollins fan. I saw him in concert in Bremen with his Rollins Band (way back in my twenties ;)) and I saw him with his spoken words tour (way back in my twenties ;), which was amazing.

Yesterday I was looking for him on you tube, just to bring back the good old times ;), and I found this and I really had to laugh. This guy can be really funny :).

But I have to admit women do read these days, I heard they even go to university these days or become candidates for the presidency. ;)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9S5-EB8dR8

[Danielle Angel]

haha, funny guy :D

[barbarella41]

When I started poker, I was searching you tube for some poker advices, and I found this.

I just found some new vids of this guy again, and I have to admit, I really don´t understand the concepts of poker, I never heard about the strategy of reverse twilighting, what a bad poker player I am :D

If he is, I must say I´m doing everything wrong ;)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JUNc4gaw4U&feature=channel

[barbarella41]

The correct sentence is: He says he is a poker pro, if he is, I´m doing everything wrong :D

[Danielle Angel]

hahahahahah lmfaoooo WHAT A TWIT !!!!!! :D:D:D:D:D:D
What is that ?? Seriously EVERYONE has to watch this moron :D:D:D

[Danielle Angel]

I thought u put this in the wrong section btw lol. I was about to move it to poker strategy :D Glad I didnt lmfaoooo

[barbarella41]

lol you have to watch his other vids, priceless !!! :D

[barbarella41]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=670Qe3zO884&feature=channel

I can´t help it lol, lol, lol

[barbarella41]

You have to delete my last post, if it´s not appropriate, Danielle, but I couldn´t help it ;)

[Danielle Angel]

You have to delete my last post, if it´s not appropriate, Danielle, but I couldn´t help it ;)

I will have to look at it when I have some more spare time. It is under jokes, and a little "bad language" and "naughtiness" etc, could be expected by anyone viewing this section I guess ???? I am not offended by what I have seen so far, just for the record. But I have only watched 3 minutes.

I am sure it isn't porn :p lol so I am "only guessing" you would get away with it

[Danielle Angel]

He said to me . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
I said to him . . . You wear pants don't you? :D

He said to me . . ..... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart! :D

He said to me. ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
I said to him . ....Turn sideways and look in the mirror! :D

He said to me. ..... Why don't women blink during foreplay?
I said to him .. . They don't have time :D

He said to me. . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
I said to him .. . We don't know; it has never happened. :D

He said to me. . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?
I said to him . . They already have boyfriends. :D:D:D:D:D

I said...What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
He said. . . A widow. :D

He said to me . .. . Why are married women heavier than single women?
I said to him . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge. :D :D :D :p :p :p

[Blobbi-San]

Is it possible that I feel a small "mens-racisme" from You Danielle? ;):D:D

[Danielle Angel]

haha, nope, just thought it was funny ..... and pretty true too lmao .... I think men are GREAT :D

[barbarella41]

:D:D:D

[LiveStraddle]

I said to my neighbour Jerome "Your a bit like Marmite" He said "what You either love me or hate me?" I told him "No your black and you smell"

Not racist just take it as it is

[Slinky]

I dont think that kind of thing is appropriate here and neither have the last few of your posts!!

Some respect for others wouldnt go a miss :confused:

[LiveStraddle]

I dont think that kind of thing is appropriate here and neither have the last few of your posts!!

Some respect for others wouldnt go a miss :confused:

Why do you post on every thread, you ever thought that maybe for once i dont want to hear what you say on the subject. This is OT forum - jokes. I posted a racist joke, doesnt make me a racist, the same way putting tomato ketchup on my face wouldnt make me a pizza.

[Slinky]

Why do you post on every thread, you ever thought that maybe for once i dont want to hear what you say on the subject. This is OT forum - jokes. I posted a racist joke, doesnt make me a racist, the same way putting tomato ketchup on my face wouldnt make me a pizza.

I dont care what YOU want, I'm telling YOU, your attitude is not welcome here!

If there isnt an age restriction on this site now is a good time to impose one! Say over 13's..spare us from these lame childish comments!

[mustardeggs]

http://www.vogelforen.de/images/smilies/popcorn.gif

[Slinky]

lmao mustard..some good authority you are!! Leaving that racist joke :O

[mustardeggs]

Well he said it was a joke and not racist and I dont think its racist. Even though its pretty lame and not very funny I dont see how we have the right to censor anything here. If the community thinks it should be censored then we will do it but right now I have no reason to delete anything.

[Slinky]

Yea ok point taken but the fact Danielle has had to delete half this guy/gals posts so far due to offensive or abusive nature sums him up pretty much...i'll leave it to you ;)

[mustardeggs]

yes danielle is a sweetheart and cares about all the readers who might get offended but afterall this is the internet and we shouldnt take things to seriosuly until they go too far :)

[LiveStraddle]

I dont care what YOU want, I'm telling YOU, your attitude is not welcome here!

Fortunately just because you post on every thread it doesnt give you the authority to decide if im welcome or not

Yea ok point taken but the fact Danielle has had to delete half this guy/gals posts so far due to offensive or abusive nature sums him up pretty much...i'll leave it to you ;)

My maths isnt what it used to be but is 0/25 posts deleted count as a half nowadays? If the mods have a problem they can contact me, iv spoke with 2 of them already and they have been very reasonable, but im not taking any critique off 'slinky' who thinks he has authority over those with fewer posts.

Yea ok point taken but the fact Danielle has had to delete half this guy/gals posts so far due to offensive or abusive nature sums him up pretty much...i'll leave it to you ;)

Wat

[Danielle Angel]

I am keeping out of this .... HOWEVER .... please don't personally attack each other or each others comments friends. IT UPSETS ME :(

and slinky is a she not a he :)

[mustardeggs]

and no more racist comments please, even if jokes unless they are really funny like this one:

http://n1.spikedhumor.com/1/389000/91428_rapist_search.jpg

not really racist but i had to post it :)

[Danielle Angel]

:D

[Degen]

"can't we all just get along?"

[Danielle Angel]

SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . having a drivers license.
At age 35 success is . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . having money.
At age 70 success is . .. ... having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . not piddling in your pants.

[Mlubin]

http://lettucelaugh.com/2008/10/24/plan-to-kidnap-obama-uncovered/

I thought this was funny first time i saw it.

[Mlubin]

Just to add to this i voted for obama so its not that i dislike him just think its funny.

[Danielle Angel]

congrats on 100 posts !!!

[LiveStraddle]

I've thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year's resolution.

1024×768

[Danielle Angel]

Grandma's letter.
She is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car.

She writes:

Dear Grand-daughter,

The other day I went up to our local Christian book store

and saw a Honk if you love Jesus bumper sticker.

I was feeling particularly sassy that day

because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance,

followed by a thunderous prayer meeting.

So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.

Boy, am I glad I did, what an uplifting experience that
followed.

I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection,

just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is,

and I didn't notice that the light had changed.


It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus

because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed.

I found that lots of people love Jesus!

While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking


like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed,

' For the love of God! '

' Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!'

What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!

Everyone started honking!


I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling

at all those loving people.

I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!

There must have been a man from Florida back there

because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach.

I saw another guy waving in a funny way

with only his middle finger stuck up in the air.

I asked my young teenage grandson

in the back seat what that meant.

He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or
something.

Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii,
so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign
right back.

My grandson burst out laughing.

Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the
moment


that they got out of their cars and started walking towards
me.

I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended,

but this is when I noticed the light had changed.


So, I waved at all my brothers and sisters grinning, and drove
on through the intersection.

I noticed that I was the only car that got through the
intersection before the light changed again and felt kind of
sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared.

So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them
all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.


Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!

Will write again soon,

Love, Grandma

[Mlubin]

Grandma's letter.
She is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car.

She writes:

Dear Grand-daughter,

The other day I went up to our local Christian book store

and saw a Honk if you love Jesus bumper sticker.

I was feeling particularly sassy that day

because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance,

followed by a thunderous prayer meeting.

So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.

Boy, am I glad I did, what an uplifting experience that
followed.

I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection,

just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is,

and I didn't notice that the light had changed.


It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus

because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed.

I found that lots of people love Jesus!

While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking


like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed,

' For the love of God! '

' Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!'

What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!

Everyone started honking!


I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling

at all those loving people.

I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!

There must have been a man from Florida back there

because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach.

I saw another guy waving in a funny way

with only his middle finger stuck up in the air.

I asked my young teenage grandson

in the back seat what that meant.

He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or
something.

Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii,
so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign
right back.

My grandson burst out laughing.

Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the
moment


that they got out of their cars and started walking towards
me.

I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended,

but this is when I noticed the light had changed.


So, I waved at all my brothers and sisters grinning, and drove
on through the intersection.

I noticed that I was the only car that got through the
intersection before the light changed again and felt kind of
sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared.

So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them
all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.


Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!

Will write again soon,

Love, Grandma

this is great

[mustardeggs]

tl ; dr ?

[mustardeggs]

lol funny story

[LiveStraddle]

lol lame story

FYP

[Danielle Angel]

haha funny story :

Man gets jailed for impersonating another man and changing his words lmao :D

[pip_sta]

Man said to his wife
I had to show the grey hair on my chest to get my pension.
Wife replied
You should have shown your cock....
we could have gotten disability allowance!

:p :p Lmao

excuse my language....its just funnier that way! :p

[Slinky]

Man said to his wife
I had to show the grey hair on my chest to get my pension.
Wife replied
You should have shown your cock....
we could have gotten disability allowance!

:p :p Lmao

haha good one!

[Danielle Angel]

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you because I was pissed.

I thought that I could love no other --
that is until I met your sister.

I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes ......
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "Go to h*ll."

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

[Danielle Angel]

A woman scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive man standing alone.

She approached him.

'Hi....My name is Carmen', she told him.

'That's a beautiful name,' he replied, 'Is it a family name?'

'No,' she replied. 'I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I like most -- cars and men.'

'What's your name?' she asked.



He said, 'B. J. Titsenbeer' :D

[Danielle Angel]

Sony releases and admits to releasing a useless F*&^ing piece of shit >>>>>> or doesn't ? Is this a joke or not... I feel sort of ahhh gullible maybe. WARNING: CONTAINS lots of foul language!!!!

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/sony_releases_new_stupid_piece_of

[Slinky]

Paddy runs into the pub and shouts to Mick "Someone's stolen your car!" Mick says "Did you see who did it?" Paddy says "No, but I got the registration !!! :D

[Degen]

A black guy, a mexican and a german walk into a bar - the bartender looks at them and says 'GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE'

[Slinky]

http://i300.photobucket.com/albums/nn24/slinkz1978/tumbleweed.jpg

[beaver808]

LOLZ!!!

[Slinky]

This isnt so much a joke but is bloody funny lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27NX_MMIkLY